You know what? I got into a car today and realized that I LOVE DRIVING! Fuck, I love driving. I love driving because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel good because it is a skill; and because it is not a common skill. Not many people know this skill so I feel like I’m exclusive; and this makes me feel good.
I love driving because it allows me to check girls out. When I check them out when I’m driving, they have to see me. And the good thing is that they don’t see me; they see what I call driving-me. Driving –me is way cooler than me and I’m happy they don’t see the insecure, shattered, depressed original-me.
I love driving because of music. Playing music while driving is so exhilarating. It makes me feel adventurous; like James Bond. It opens a whole new world of possibilities for me in the way of dreams. I can become somebody else and the gateway to this is the music blasting off in the car. Also, driving makes any song seem like the best song in the world; it therefore opens a gateway into many new exciting forms of music for me to be blessed with.
I love driving because it makes me feel powerful; wealth-powerful and ego-powerful. I feel like I have achieved something in my life when I’m driving. It is so exclusive that I feel like I have had to have done something, a rite of passage if you will, to get to drive; even if the car is not mine. I love driving because it makes me feel powerful and influential. This feeling always comes to me when I am in traffic and realise that I’m driving the same car as that famous guy or that powerful woman. I also feel in-fucking-control when I am going at terribly high speeds and I know that these dangerous feats that I am performing are totally controlled and created by me.
I love all these things and I love driving. I love driving because I am SO FUCKING HIGH.
By-the-fucking-way, It ceaselessly amazes me the way wires get tangled.
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I like the way the last line cuts away sharply from the flow of the previous paragraphs, but also relates to the overall idea. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteI don't drive, so I can't say I've experienced these feelings you speak of per se; but I do understand where you're coming from, especially with the music. But...
Why is the "original you" so "insecure, shattered, depressed"? I think to some extent those things characterize all of us, but I feel compelled to inquire about your case in particular because this depression of yours seems to be ever-present; a theme running at the background (and sometimes forefront) of everything you experience. And not just depression - being high as well.
I always imagine myself in a pink convertible with a customised license plate, spraying dust on all those useless AUN boys that have done much worse to me. Anyways, I will have to wait till I'm old enough to drive. :(
ReplyDeleteAnd now I know y guys just stop and stare 4 no apparent reason.
I'm worried about you, with this whole depression thingy.
@LIR, u like speaking big big english ehn...
ReplyDelete@O.O ahahaha! That's just me...
ReplyDelete@ O.O: Lol. I don't think pink is a yola-compatible colour but maybe you can pull it off.Also, the heat will definitely kill you in a convertible so perhaps you should just get a generic car.I do understand bathing dem AUN boys with dust though.
ReplyDeleteThank you for worrying. Depression is the theme of my life so being depressed is equal to being good and fine for me. I live this shit.
@LadyInRed: Thank you for the compliment. I will in turn compliment high-me for the writing.He came up with it.
I think I'm depressed because I'm not getting to do what I want to do.Or do who I want to do.Until I get these things, I will be forever depressed.
Being high is a worthy distraction;good therapy.It just makes me happy.Everytime I smoke, I'm just generally happy and smiley. I need to escape into this world to survive.I would never "love driving" if I didn't smoke.
I feel like you, my fellow blogger(s) know me even more than my closest friends.
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ReplyDelete@O.O You go girl! I call first dibs on the passenger seat.
ReplyDelete@rudebode, I don't want to sound like an old nag, but I think you need to step down from that high horse (get it? haha I know, it's not that funny) and face the world squarely. Do what (and who) you want to do, so you can finally find peace and happiness. Or at least try, so you can move on if you don't succeed. What's stopping you, really? Fear of failure?
(Perhaps that's because your closest friends only know you when under the influence of weed?)
@Rudebode, I think u're jealous. I might give u a ride in my car one day.
ReplyDelete@LIR, u know how we do na...