GO FUCK YOURSELF

There’s been a lot of drama this week.

I lost my phone and lost all contact from the rest of the world. I lost the trust of my parents, and my faith in weed got tested. I lost mobile music. Yet I am not unhappy.

I got fucked in the ass by the “God squad” because of the shit I did to them some time in the past. They fucked our concert up properly because they had the power. I gave them that power; against my better judgement. I believed that they were Christians and forgiving; although I don’t think there was anything to forgive. Especially now, I don’t think that there was anything to forgive. I called them hypocrites and they proved themselves to me. Again. They fucked up our concert. Yet I am not unhappy.

I failed a test, and God knows how much I hate to fail. It was due to my negligence and I felt like a total dumbass. I don’t like to say this, but dudes that don’t even measure were totally skydiving while I was grovelling on the ground. It felt like shit; it was shit. Yet I am not unhappy.

I heard shit this week about myself that I didn’t know about myself. Total shit. Shit Shit shit. That’s how the world works though. Yet I am not unhappy.

I have been trying to stop smoking. It is a very depressing process. Dudes come up to me and be like “Benson! How can you not have cigarettes?” Then I also ask myself this question, and for some reason it depresses me. Add that to the FACT that when I don’t smoke, all those depressing thoughts come floating through my head like those fucking birds in Resident Evil III. They just keep attacking my head, and I can feel it peeling. Yet I am not unhappy.

I can’t eat either; because I don’t fucking get hungry. All the nice food just passes me by and I can’t eat because I DON’T FUCKING GET HUNGRY. I think it’s telling on my metabolism, and my health. I get weak so fucking quickly and I know why. Yet I am not unhappy.

This is my last testament. I speak to you who seek revenge for all the shit I did to you. I speak to you who have been watching me and saying shit behind my back. I speak to all the shit that has happened to me, and is waiting to happen. I speak to you supernatural fuckers that aim to bring me down. I speak to you who hate me for what I am and what I wear. I speak to you who hate me for what I say.

Go fuck yourself; I have geeky girl.