Einstein Moment

You know, I’m having this little depression problem as regards what happens after I graduate.

Not liking the working life much.

Yep.

But this is not a high thought.

Or is it?

(Stewie cocking his head)

Or is it?

Hmmm?

Nope. Didn’t think it was.

So away with you, vile thought!

Away!

For today we tell the story of how I got to temp site.

I’m walking back from the coffee shop yeah?

And it occurs to me, why don’t you just have that morning glory that you’ve been planning for a week here?

What, here?

Ha!

Here?!

Along the basketball court road thingy, here?

Ha!

What genius!

So I proceed with this Einstein moment.

Walking along the basketball court road thingy, I realise that I have come to the basketball court.

Alas!

The basketball court-the basketball court road thingy.

WHAT GENIUS!

So I walk towards the basketball court, where “sittable” objects have been placed conveniently by whom I know not, and I think about the genius of this Einstein moment.

Then I start smoking.

First I get desperate like “is this going to be enough to get me high?”

Please let it be enough to make me high.

A bird walks by.

But it is more than enough to get me high as I discover a few minutes later.

And then I don’t see the bird any longer because I am backing the football pitch beside the basketball court.

And that’s where the bird’s walking around; being stupid.

(Football pitch beside the basketball court? That kinda irks me right now, you know?)

The bird is a longish flamingo-looking bird.

Big enough to attack!

So I look left, look right, can’t see it in my peripheral vision.

So it has to be right in the line of vision that constitutes only the back of my head.

And behind it.

In other words, my blind spot!

God, am I good or what?

So I turn around 180 degrees.

But the bird isn’t there.

Then I start to feel like it’s behind me.

It was behind me before but then it turned around as I turned around cus it knew I was going to turn around and by knowing this he turned around in a fashion that placed him right back behind me after I had turned around because he knew the reason why I was turning around was because he was behind me, and as any human being would notice, I noticed, and I had to turn around to see what was there, and because he knew this and had been doing this weird creep-behind-the-human stupid predator attack that he didn’t understand why he did his creepy-fucking-self for a while, he turned around so when I turned around he became in my blind spot, behind me.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Feels like rolling out a tangled wire.

You understand though, don’t you?

Moving on, as Olowodagba would say, I turn around again.

And the fucking bird isn’t there. Again.

What the fuck is it with high people and birds? Robert Downey Junior, that Bode dude, you know? What the fuck is it with high (famous) people and birds?

Fuck!

So I shake off this stupid feigned predator attack attempt and resume my traverse to temp site.

Oh fuck.

My feet are heavy.

And I’m getting to the clinic and I’m listening to Last Summer by the Lostprophets.

(And now, as I’m writing this, I’m listening to some stupid cliché thing on Spartacus from my roommate’s laptop:

Kryksus: The Dominus would do anything for his own Champion of Capua

Dotore: Spartacus holds the title. To regain that title...

A very stupidly long cymbal routine accompanied by a stupid screech from a violin occurs emphasizing a stupid unrealistic pause occurs at this point. I mean, who pauses their speech for that long when they’re talking in real life?

Dotore: ...you must defeat him)

So I’m listening to Lostprophets and I’m doing stupid stuff.

Like playing air guitar and finding out that I’m pretty good at that shit, thank you very much.

And lip-synching the song so it seems like the video is me walking back to temp site and singing as I’m walking.

By the way the Spartacus dude kinda looks like that Aragorn dude from the Lord of the Rings; they even speak alike. But it’s not the same dude. Of this I am positive.

And I’m getting to the gate.

Can I stop my high antics before I get there?

Can I?

Please?

I kinda do. The guards can still see my reddened eyes though.

Fuck them. I’m high.

And those fucking bees have moved. I think I still see one though. So I walk by pretty quickly. I’m not getting stung; fuck that. Imagine being stung in this state; I’ll just fucking blank out and probably share the same fate as the bee.

Fuck that shit; didn’t get stung.

Trying to cross the road now; there’s a herd of goats on the other side. They look menacing.

I cross so that when I get to the other side of the road, I am ahead of them.

Genius. This Einstein moment is something else.

Really. Standing ovation.

Anyway, the goats start moving towards me and fast.

Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

They’re coming, they’re coming and.... FUCK!

They cross the road and they’re on the other side.

What the fuck is it with high people and animals? Really. You know, Robert Downey Junior, that Bode dude; what is it with high (famous) people and animals? Fuck.

I am saved. I am saved.

I am hungry. I am hungry.

Einstein moment didn’t think about that; seems nothing is perfect after all.

I am hungry.