Better than this

You can do so much better than this.

I can do so much better than this.

And that’s why I feel like ending my life sometimes.

We only have one life to live, and if I’m not doing my best, if I’m not all I can be, then life is not worth living.

It is fucked up; fucked up to read shit I wrote before and realize it’s better than this shit I’m writing.

It’s fucked up.

It means I am not evolving; it means I am going backwards. It means that I can never be the best that I should be.

I hate “buts”

“Hey I can sing but...”

“Hey I write but...”

There should be no fucking buts. There should be a period or an “and.”

“I can sing and here, listen to my album”

“I write and I just got published”

That’s what I want to hear myself saying.

There is no point living life if you’re going to be mediocre; if you’re going to be thinking that you had the potential to do this or do that and oh what a shame it is that you didn’t.

What kind of fucked up life is that?

You have to maximise your potential; you have to do all you can do. Only then can you be happy; only then can you have no regrets.

Only then can you say that you have lived life.

I know I can do so much better than this and that is what depresses me.

I can but I am not doing.

I am fucked up.

There are people worth living life for; people that you know will accept you for whatever you are. They will accept you even if you are the shittiest person on earth.

These people are remarkable and I think I have one or two in my life.

Lucky me; unlucky them.

It is not fair on them that I have to be this shitty human being.

I feel like I should sever these ties, because they don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve them.

Because I can do so much better than this.

I know it and this knowledge can either kill me or set me free.

They say the human being is insatiable; that there is no end to his wants.

Perhaps there is no end to his wants, but there is an end to his potential.

Most of us never get there and that’s why we think we always want more.

We never get to the end so we think that there’s no end.

There is an end and it is attainable.

Don’t be a fucking bitch.

Maximise your fucking potential.

I can’t look in her face knowing that I am not the man that I know I can be; that she knows I can be.

I can do so much better than this.

I know it and that is why I have to do it.

I will never rest until I am the best I can be.

You should not rest too; to be content is a trick of the devil.

You should never be content until you get to the end.

You can always do better than this.